Max Burnstappen burns rubber on Massa's corpse

"Ratonu13-Proud Daewoo owner, apparently" (cristianadamro)
06/04/2015 at 14:26 • Filed to: None

Max Verstappen proves he is a true 17 year old in what I can only imagine as the hottest press conference in F1 history. For those of you who haven’t read the news, Massa was quick to comment and complain that Max is too young for F1, saying yet again that FIA made a big mistake by letting him race.

Well Max had enough and all those nights playing Call of Duty Nazi Zombies did leave a mark on him: good burns. AND I DO NOT MEAN: “YOUR MOM DIDN’T THINK SO LAST NIGHT WHEN WE WERE BANGING, LOLOLOLOL”.

He went ahead and did a little bit of research and found out that Massa had his fair deal of accidents last year and casually brought them forward, prompting Felipe to start nagging like the little bald bitch he is. “Well it was different, *sob, sob*” he said. “It was because of Perez *sob sob*”.

Just look as his face in the above picture.

JUST.

LOOK.

AT.

IT.

Now try to imagine your teen self after a sick burn. Now imagine the whole world of F1 heard it.

It’s like when you play GTA 5 and a guy starts shooting at you because you stole his car only to run him over repeatedly and then do burnouts on his body.

IT’S LIKE PLAYING HALO AND TEA-BAGGING THE SHIT OF A MICROSOFT DEVELOPER.

Take that Bill Gates. MY WINDOWS BLUESCREEN’ED AGAIN. Eat THEEZ NUTZ. EEEAT THEEEEM!!! GGJGJWGHFJ

After the press conference, Felipe was seen running to his trailer, while crying like a 14 year old who just got killed by an ex-Soviet Block teen in CS:GO.

But, thanks to Soviet war technology and crazy Russian dashcams, we managed to get a picture of him.

TAKE THAT FELIPE. LEARN TO DRIVE FELIPE OR AT LEAST STOP NAGGING.

DISCUSSION (13)

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > Ratonu13-Proud Daewoo owner, apparently
06/04/2015 at 14:36

This was quite honestly the best Oppo post I’ve read in a while!

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Ratonu13-Proud Daewoo owner, apparently
06/04/2015 at 14:42

is there video yet?

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Ratonu13-Proud Daewoo owner, apparently
06/04/2015 at 14:42

Kinja'd!!!

We need Blunion to make the cutscenes that epic crash in Canada last year

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > Ratonu13-Proud Daewoo owner, apparently
06/04/2015 at 14:45

Context:

“Everybody can have his opinion,” Verstappen replied, before pointing out Massa had crashed out of last year’s Canadian Grand Prix in a similar incident involving Sergio Perez .

“I’m focussing on Canada now. Maybe you should review the race from last year and see what happened there.”

“I have my own view and we discussed with the team,” Verstappen continued. “There was no reason to look back at Monaco, just focus on Canada like I said. I will try to score some points again and I will not change my driving style.”

Massa, who was twice cleared of responsibility for the Canada crash while Perez received a five-place grid penalty , dismissed the comparison.

“I think it was a little bit different, no?” he asked. “I was on the side and he moved the car on braking. I don’t think Grosjean moved the car on braking, no? Plus it was before the braking as well.”

The Dummy Gummy > Ratonu13-Proud Daewoo owner, apparently
06/04/2015 at 14:50

Kinja'd!!!

I love everything about this write up and the picture added. The picture behind him makes it look like he just got his brain shot out in GTA 5. Pow pow...ooooozzzeee